Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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