As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
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