im about as happy as oj after his trial
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Randomize
