Heybabeimwearingurpanties
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
