Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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