I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I just had sex on a roof
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize