I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
