Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
