We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
