YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
He had one of those small greek statue penises
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Damn victory sex feels great
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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