chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Are my feet made of real feet?
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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