He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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