Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
