i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
