I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I just gargled with NyQuil
Randomize
