as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
