you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
