i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
