At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize