i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
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