I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Randomize
