I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Randomize
