WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I am never drinking with the goths again.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
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