Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
he high fived his dick after we had sex
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
