It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize