Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
