Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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