bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I have aggressive nipples.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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