i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
