just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
