maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
