i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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