We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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