Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize