I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
