Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
