if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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