Just fell off a train. Bad.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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