Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
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