Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
