I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
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last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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