you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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