just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
