I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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