While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I want to be your penis for a week.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize