haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
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So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
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I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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