i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
