we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
