Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
handjob tips. give me some.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Every concussion has its silver lining
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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