it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Randomize
