last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
