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She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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