one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
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i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
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I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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