One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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