i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
