Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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