the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
