Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
