You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
