I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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