she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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