6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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