Me. At least after what I've been through.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
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