Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
