Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Randomize
