my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
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Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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