My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
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