I cannot find my penis.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Randomize
